Can having a dark empath as a parent impact someone in adulthood?

Plenty of studies, particularly those focusing on attachment theory, show that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers can shape our adult behaviour. So, understandably, if we’ve grown up with a parent who has dark empathic traits it can impact us in adulthood. According to Saxton, this can show up in a series of ways, including:

Being unable to trust yourself and others
Finding it hard to grow close to other people
Feeling guilty saying ‘no’ to people
Fearing being rejected if you displease people
Exhibiting ‘dark empath’ traits yourself

“You may also sadly find you have learned some of a parent’s patterns and need to consciously work to untangle your learned behaviours from your true self,” says Saxton.

How can you deal with having a dark empath parent?

For Saxton, there are three core elements to navigating the experience of having a dark empath parent. This first is identifying that it has happened – or is still happening – to you. Then you can start to reset boundaries with the parent, says Saxton. This helps to “minimise their impact and reframe the relationship”.

The second step is to find your true self and reach independence. “Beginning to hear your own voice, trust your own judgment and build your self-identity will strengthen your sense of truth,” says Saxton. She suggests finding support from designated groups and trusted friends who can help validate your experience.

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