The best way reframe it? Remembering that rest isn’t a reward; it’s crucial. Sustainable productivity comes from balance, not burnout, and so it’s important to remember that time spent resting, connecting or doing nothing isn’t wasted. As Orson puts it: “We’re all more productive when we’re happy and healthy – and those things are not synonymous with burnout.”

Treating yourself like a constant project to optimise

Recording your sleep. Tracking your mood. Keeping note of your daily steps. Forming new habits. Optimising food. Maximising productivity. Over recent years, the language of self-improvement has evolved from growth to perfection.

Thomas describes this as seeing yourself as a constant project to improve. While self-reflection can be healthy, when taken too far, it keeps people stuck in performance mode. “There’s never any sense of arriving,” she says. “You’re always chasing the next version of yourself.”

That level of self-monitoring leaves little room for presence or pleasure, and it can quickly tip into exhaustion or burnout. Softening the approach doesn’t mean giving up on growth, though; it just means being kinder to yourself. “Psychological health isn’t built through perfection, but through flexibility, acceptance and compassion when you inevitably get things wrong,” says Thomas.

Psychotherapist and author Eloise Skinner agrees, adding that presenting struggle in a more palatable or aesthetic way can feel comforting, but it becomes unhelpful when pain or loss is glossed over rather than processed. “There can be a danger in using romanticisation as a coping mechanism, because it can bypass the difficult emotional work many experiences require,” she says.

In other words: not everything – or every part of you – needs optimising or improving. Some things are just fine as they are.

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